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Snake Oil Salesmen - Alive and Well

by Paul Saulnier
August 3, 2008

Snake Oil Salesmen, Alive and Well

Recently, while thumbing through the Farmer's Almanac, I discovered that another American tradition lives on today: the art of the Snake Oil Salesman.

According to Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia, snake oil originally came from China where it was used as a remedy for for inflamation and pain in rheumatoid arthritis, bursitis, and other similar conditions. A snake-oil salesman is defined as someone who tries to sell you something of no value.

From the almanac:

Step right up, Ladies and Gentleman. I hold in my hand the diabetes healer that drug companies want to keep a secret. Just $12.95 plus $2.00 for postage and handling. And it comes with a 90-day money-back guarantee! If you still have diabetes we will return your money - no questions asked. How can you lose?

Diabetes is not your problem, you say? How about a magnet bracelet to cure yor arthritis, backaches, depression, fatigue, inflamation, migranes, and much more. Part with $16.95 and the pain is gone. Buy two in case it comes back.l

Embarrased by thinning hair or ringing in your ears? Have I've got the juice for you. Neutrolox. Just $16.95 plus $3.00 for shipping and handling. Your friends will be whispering "mophead" and you'll be proud as punch.

For you anglers out there, this new lure's catch rate may be too high for some tournaments. For only $9.95, you will catch almost three times as many fish as before. How many do want?

Are your wife's varicose veins killing her? Grandma's Old Time Vinegar Wraps will put an end to her pain (not to mention her social life).

Are you a gambler? Buy our Lucky Hand Gambler's Necklace. Only $10.95 (2 for 20 bucks). Or conquer all your money problems with this triple strength MONEY DRAWING TALISMAN Necklace. Same cost. Someone put an evil spell on you? Our Sword With Power Stone (model J4157) will get rid of that spell for $10.95, and it can be used over and over!

Give the ultimate gift of immortality - by having actual stars in the heavens named in honor of your "star" loved ones. $29.95. Limit of six per order due to limited number of stars.

Lastly, Ruby's energy oils bring back love, remove bad luck, and put happiness back in your life. Order now before you kill yourself needlessly.

Order all of the above for only $49.95 and live forever. Double your money back if you don't.

 

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Comments (2)

Where can I get Neutrolox?

- Heat Miser | 1/7/10 9:26 AM

Don't knock it 'til you try it!! I don't know about the other stuff listed in the article, but Neutrolox actually works! I am a serious skeptic about ads like these but I have tried every volumizing shampoo, conditioner, gel, pill and even the stuff that doctors reccomend, Rogaine. When I saw this ad I thought that it probably would not do what it said but it said I could return it for money back. So I tried it. While I haven't seen much in the way of new growth, it does make my hair thicker and the thinning almost invisible. It also makes my hair very manageable and stays that way for 2 to 3 days which is more than I can say for expensive shampoos, etc.!!

- Vickie Bott | 8/20/09 5:20 PM

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